Why Identity Is Everything (and How to Reclaim Yours)
A few days ago, on my 35th birthday, visited the house where my dad grew up—now empty, in Cairo, Egypt.
No plan. No agenda. Just a quiet yearning to connect with the roots of the man I call Dad.
Since he passed away 11 years ago, I’ve come to realise how many questions I never asked him. How many stories were never told. How many parts of him I never got to see.
In all honesty, at the time of his passing, I was a completely different person:
Closed off from my emotions. Disconnected from who I really was. Lost.
I partied hard to escape the grief I didn’t know how to process.
My relationship with my dad was never easy—he was never easy. And when he died, it felt like too much to cope with consciously.
But whether we like it or not, whether it’s conscious or unconscious, our parents shape who we become.
It’s through them that we first learn values, belief systems, and the standards we set for ourselves.
Most importantly, they help shape our identity—the very foundation of how we see ourselves in the world.
And we know this:
Identity informs belief.
Belief informs action.
Action creates reality.
If you identify as a smoker, you will smoke. If you identify as a runner, you will run.
What are the parts of your identity you own and embrace? Versus suppress and push down?
When parts of ourselves are rejected—whether by our environment or by our own desire to fit in—we suppress them.
Carl Jung called these the “Shadow” parts: the pieces of us we hide or deny.
But when we suppress these parts, we lose access to our full, authentic expression. And that limits the life we’re here to create.
Take my case for example:
My dad was Egyptian. My mum was Irish. But they chose Scotland—Glasgow—as our home.
As a kid, I never quite understood why. And growing up, I never quite felt like I belonged.
At primary school, I felt different. Like I had to prove myself. Fit in. Be accepted.
When I travelled abroad, I’d always introduce myself as Scottish, even though I didn’t fully resonate with it.
I rejected parts of my heritage, never truly embracing my Egyptian and Irish roots. Looking back, I see how even that simple choice—how I identified—shaped everything, from how I saw myself, to how I showed up.
In Scotland, I had no role models who were coaches or speakers. I didn’t see anyone who looked like me, sounded like me, doing what I dreamed of doing.
In my late 20s, I realised: I’d spent so long trying to be like everyone else…
I’d forgotten who I was.
And in the town I grew up in? Well, let’s just say tall poppy syndrome was real. If you stood out, you got cut down. The “cool” thing was to blend in, stay quiet, not shine too bright.
This deeply impacted how I showed up in my business. For years, I struggled to feel comfortable using my voice, being visible, or taking up space online.
But now? Now I remember who I am.
I’m Lara. I’m Scottish. I’m Irish. I’m Egyptian. I live in the Netherlands. My soul feels most alive in Australia, where I know I’ll one day return.
I am a woman of contradictions:
I’m a feminist who loves a cheeky joke & doesn't mind a laugh at my own expense.
I nourish my body with care—but I adore pasta and good wine.
I’m adventurous, love new cultures and people—but I’m most at home in my living room hosting a dinner party or walking with my husband Marcus in nature.
I’m committed to becoming the best version of myself.
I’ve invested deeply in my healing, my learning, and my growth.
I love being a coach. But let’s be honest… I’m still figuring out the whole social media thing.
My biggest asset? The incredible friends and family in my life. I’m endlessly grateful for them.
And my biggest goal?
To impact even more people to live their best work-lives and create careers they are proud of, through workshops, retreats and live spaces.
I want to reach a level of success where I can treat the people I love to lavish holidays, shared laughter in nature, unforgettable memories—without ever worrying about money.
Yikes. Saying your biggest goal out loud can feel so vulnerable.
But it should feel that way.
So now, I want to ask you:
What’s your biggest goal?
Because in SHE Thrives—my 1:1 coaching program for women—we start there. We get crystal clear on your most soul-aligned vision.
Whether it’s:
Starting a business and working from anywhere
Finding your passion and living it
Becoming a confident leader and sharing your voice
Or simply creating a life that feels deeply you
Once the goal is clear, we get to work. We unpack the beliefs you’ve inherited—about yourself, the world, what’s possible—and explore how they’re shaping your current reality.
Then, we rewire the subconscious. We use unconscious reprogramming techniques to shift the beliefs holding you back and create new ones aligned with your highest timeline.
Then we start to take aligned action towards your biggest goals, with support, loving accountability, and real progress.
It’s powerful work. Life-changing work.
And I’d be honoured to walk beside you in it.
